Have Mercy
by PrinceParker
Summary: When a chance to kill his first Titan turns into tragedy, Armin asks Eren to finish what the Titan has started. (A fill for the Attack on Titan kink meme)


A four-meter tall Titan, about 200 yards away and approaching quickly. It seemed easy enough. A few quick movements, some precise aim, and a deep gash to the back of the neck should have been all that it took to take the giant down. Easy. The lack of trees out in the open field was a bit of a handicap, but it shouldn't have been a big problem. Move quick, aim right, strike hard. Easy…

It should have never turned out the way it did.

Eren held his best friend in his arms as he dashed away from the degenerating corpse of the Titan. He breathed heavily and sweat dripped from his brow in rivets. His clothes were stained deeply with Armin's blood. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that it would remain there for the rest of his life; there was too much of it – and it wouldn't stop coming. Where was it all coming from? How could such a small person bleed so much? How was his arm bending in such a horrifying way? How was he still alive? How long did he have left? Where had the other troops gone? Why would they leave them here alone? Wasn't anybody going to help him? Were they just going to let him die? How could this happen…?

He made is as far as his legs could carry him before eventually falling to his knees. He made sure to set Armin carefully down on the ground before leaning over him to start frantically checking his wounds and try to stop the bleeding.

"Armin, Armin, stay with me, please…" Eren whispered desperately as he applied heavy pressure to a deep gash on his shoulder. "Armin, you have to live, please, you can't leave me here like this. I'm begging you!"

Armin's breaths were varied and ragged as if he couldn't decide when to breathe or for how long. He produced a wet, throaty cough before trying to speak. "Did…I kill it…?"

Eren, not expecting the question that was asked of him, stopped what he was doing. He wasn't sure how to answer him. Should he tell the truth and say that the Titan grabbed him as he was preparing to strike its neck? Should he lie and say that he succeeded? He didn't know which one would be more painful to tell.

"Did I do it…?" Armin mumbled, his voice faint and scratchy. He tried to reach up towards his best friend's face with the arm that wasn't mangled and fractured.

"J-Just stay here with me, okay? Everything's going to be okay, I promise. I'm right here," Eren continued to plead. He took Armin's bloodied hand into his own and stroked it as comfortingly as he could. It was colder than he expected. It nauseated him.

"Did I… Did I kill…the Titan, Eren?"

"Armin, please, just—"

"Eren…"

"Armin, I'm begging you, I just want—"

"Eren… Did I do it?" Armin tried to tighten his grip on Eren's hand, his joints quivering. His lips were beginning to turn purple and his eyes were looking duller by the second. "Did we win…?"

Eren took in a sharp breath. Tears sprang into his eyes as he gazed at his dying friend. He had a feeling that he would hate himself for the rest of his life no matter what he told him. He just had to decide which one he could live with more easily.

"Y-You did it, Armin. You… You killed your first Titan." He sobbed quietly and held tightly onto the boy's hand. "You did it."

Armin smiled ever so slightly and closed his eyes before weakly opening them again. "You're lying…"

Eren swallowed harshly. He couldn't argue and say that he wasn't, but he couldn't bring himself to agree either.

"I know…when you're lying…" Armin continued, his voice picking up in volume for a matter of a few seconds then tampering off again. "Your ears…always turn red when…when you're lying…"

Eren couldn't stifle a small, sad chuckle. "Y-Yeah. They do…"

Armin joined in the stiff laughter, but was interrupted by a violent cough wracking his body. He succumbed to it, sputtering out droplets of blood that landed on the grass beside him. Eren was sure that that blood would remain there for the rest of his life, as well.

He settled back down and began to breathe sporadically once more. They both sat in tense silence until Armin's eyes began to overflow with hot tears. They rolled down from the far corners of his eyes and onto his temples.

"I tried…" he breathed. "I tried to k-…kill it…I tried to—"

"Shh…" Eren wiped the tears away from Armin's eyes, trying to be gentle with his bruised skin. "It's okay. You did great. You did everything you could."

"Even in…my last moments…I couldn't save anyone… I always had to be saved…" Armin gazed up at Eren with a look of fear and disappointment. "I could never do anything…to help you…to help anyone…"

"No, Armin, you've helped me so much. You've always helped me." The tears began to reappear in Eren's eyes. "You've always been there for me. You've done so much for me all of our lives. You've been with me through most of it, too... I don't know what I would do without…" He trailed off, rethinking his words before speaking again. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

Armin's breaths were becoming shallower. His body shook more violently with each slight movemet. Eren gently stroked his hair as he tried to keep him as calm as possible. He cried quietly, and Armin followed suit when he could muster the strength to do so.

It slowly dawned on them both that death would not come as soon as they had anticipated. Armin's pain was only intensifying as each second passed, but the end wasn't in sight. Eren could have gone to find help long ago and come back to find Armin still alive, but they both feared that if he tried to go now he would return only to find a lifeless, mangled corpse. Neither of them knew where their flares had gone – they had to have been dropped in the process of killing the Titan Armin had tried to take on. They feared that if Eren tried to carry Armin back into the walls a Titan would get to them first. Eren could have tried to bandage Armin's wounds, but his limited medical knowledge was of little use at this time. He needed a real doctor. They were out of options.

All but one.

"Eren…" Armin said as loudly and clearly as he could. He winced in pain as he forced his head to move so he could look at him directly. "Listen to me… I need to ask you…to do me one last favor…"

Eren listened intently to everything that the boy had to say and hung on every word. "Of course. What is it?"

"I want you to kill me…"

A heavy, thick silence filled the air around them like smog. Eren couldn't immediately comprehend what Armin was asking of him. He blinked harshly and tried his best to process his friend's words.

"…You want me…to…kill you?" he finally said in disbelief. "A-Armin, I can't—"

"Nobody is coming our way… They're not gonna help… I'm not going…to live through this… Eren, my arm…is broken badly… I can't breathe well… My vision is blurry… I'm dying…and it hurts... I don't… I don't want it to hurt anymore…"

Eren practically choked on each word that he tried to say. His mind raced. His heart rate quickened. His palms grew sweaty. "I-I just… Armin…"

Armin forced himself to smile and tried to seem as happy as possible for his best friend's sake. "I'd rather die…by your hand…than a Titan's…Eren…"

"But… But, Armin… I am a Titan…" he swallowed hard and averted his gaze from the boy.

"Yes, but…" Armin cleared his throat harshly then began once more. "You're a Titan…but you're still you… You're still Eren…and you're still my best friend…"

Eren's eyes snapped back to stare at Armin. His vision blurred through thick tears as another crying fit overtook him, his heavy sobs loud and uneven. He clenched Armin's stiff hand as tightly as he could, refusing to let go. "I can't do it… I can't do that to you…"

"Eren…please…"

He felt his rage and anger boil in the pit of his stomach. "You're going to live! You're going to live, Armin! I swear that you're going to live!"

"Don't make promises…that you can't keep…"

"I can keep this one!"

"No, Eren… You can't…" Armin coughed once again, more blood escaping from his lungs and landing on his bottom lip. "I just…want to not hurt… So, please…"

Eren suddenly couldn't find the strength to be angry anymore. He couldn't find the desire or passion to be rageful. He couldn't be mad. He could only find the energy to stare into Armin's dull eyes, the same ones that were so full of life and drive hours ago, and see that they were pleading with him to make it all end. Armin's will to live was gone.

Numbly, he took the hand grip of one of his 3DMG swords and attached a fresh blade to it. He stared down at it with disbelief at what he was preparing to do. These should only be used to kill Titans, he thought to himself, yet here he was preparing to end his best friend's life with it. "How could this happen…?" he whispered.

He looked back at Armin, a genuine smile on the boy's lips now. It made Eren shake with fear.

"How can you be so happy about something like this…?" he asked.

"I-I'm not sure…" Armin replied, unware that he was smiling to begin with. "I guess…I'm just happy…that I got to spend…the last moments of my life…with you, Eren…"

Eren clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on the hilt of the blade, his knuckles turning white and his palms burning hot. He took a few deep, forced breaths, then began to raise the sword above Armin's chest.

"Hey…" Armin mumbled, not a hint of fear or anguish in his voice any longer.

"Y-Yeah?"

"I'm glad that…you were able to save me…one last time…"

The tears wouldn't seem to come to Eren anymore. Perhaps he had cried himself dry, he thought. No matter the cause, though, he couldn't seem to weep.

"Will… Will you miss me…?" Armin asked quietly.

Eren's arms went slack for a moment and he moved the blade away from Armin's body. "Of course I will," he said. "I'll miss you every single day of my life, Armin. I'll never _not_ miss you…"

Another silence overtook them This time, however, it was much more peaceful.

"Eren…?"

"Yes?"

"Your ears aren't red…"

They each smiled at each other for a long moment. Eren could tell that Armin was truly ready now, and he was a little more prepared to take on the daunting task, though he knew that he would never truly be prepared no matter how much time passed between them. Once more, Eren raised the blade over Armin's chest, holding the hilt with two shaking hands.

"D-Do you have any…last words at all?" he asked, his voice quivering.

Armin nodded slightly, and stiffened a bit as he spoke. "It is an honor…to die…for the glory of humanity…and I am glad…that my life…will be remembered fondly…" He let out a small sigh, and nodded once more as a signal for Eren to do as he was instructed.

Eren nodded back at him, his mind screaming for him to stop, to go get help, to save his life.

Instead, he forced the blade into his heart.

He could hear Armin take one final, painful breath, then heard it slowly escape. He watched as his body fell completely still. He felt his death surround him entirely.

And then Eren screamed as loudly as he could.

He screamed for his loss. He screamed for his humanity. He screamed for what he had done. He screamed for help. He screamed for anger. He screamed for the pain he felt in his heart. He screamed for anything that he could find worthy enough to be screamed about. It was the only thing he could do other than hold desperately on to the hilt of his blade, the damned weapon, and stare at his friend's motionless body.

He wasn't sure of how long he sat there yelling at the top of his lungs. He wasn't sure of when he started to cry. He wasn't sure of when he lost his voice entirely. He wasn't sure of when two leading officers gathered him and Armin's body up and rode them back into the city. He wasn't sure of when he finally fell asleep. He wasn't sure of when he woke up. He wasn't sure of when anyone else learned of the news. He wasn't sure of when Mikasa walked up to him with tears rolling down her pale cheeks and held him as she sobbed. He wasn't sure of when he began to sob along with her. He wasn't sure of when he finally managed to eat food again. He wasn't sure of when the nightmares stopped happening every night. He wasn't sure of when he could look at a book or Armin's bunk and not feel sick. He wasn't sure of when anything after that day really happened. All he knew was that it had all happened at some point. Each and every day seemed to blur together. Every second of every day was bland and lacking and empty. He wasn't sure of anything anymore.

He was only sure of the fact that things wouldn't be okay again for a very long time.


End file.
